An Impassive Mask
by RuriGil
Summary: A Gilthanas and Silvara story with angst, and so on. Alternate ending, AU.. whatever. Read and review!
1. Thoughts

I've always thought Gilthanas is one of the most underrated characters in Dragonlance. So here is my story on him. AU, and Alternate Ending here. I made Gilthanas a bit stronger as well and with double blades (cuz me likey!) Maybe a bit OOC, but I think it works well enough. Please read and review this, or I don't see a point in writing anymore if I don't see any audience for it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonlance, Weiss and hickman and the rest own them. Otherwise, there would be a kender empire and kender army taking over all of Ansalon by now.

**Chapter 1: Thoughts**

The embers of their fire glowed at a sudden gust of wind. Gilthanas looked up from the tediousness of his watch. It was his turn to keep watch. Silvara and Gilthanas were one their way to Sanction, to find what had become of the good dragon eggs.

Gilthanas let loose a sigh. It was but the second day of the journey, and already it was damp and weary. What else could be expected? They were most likely traveling to their deaths at any rate. He shifted his gaze to the beautiful silver-haired elf sleeping before him. No, correcting himself bitterly, a dragon... A dragon in elf form. He watched as the wind ran through her hair, and caused it to gently slide across her face.

He cursed himself, his very existence, Laurana, Tanis, the companions they had parted with, the Qualinesti, Silvara, indeed, the whole world.

Stupid war, driving out the Qualinesti out of their beloved home. Also the other companions thought him weak. Scowling heavily he brooded on this. He was not weak; he was the best warrior of the Qualinesti, though few knew it. His skill at archery, and his speed with the double blades were finer than Tanis, aye, even Sturm or Caramon due to his innate elven agility. He was a decent mage also, for someone who had not taken the Test.

Not to mention Laurana had forced him to accompany Silvara on a quest to find the dragon eggs. He was a good elf, cold at times, but kind when necessary. But, he would perhaps been better if this had to be done with anyone, anyone indeed, besides Silvara. He looked back upon that gentle and beautiful face. He could almost feel her soft lips on his again, the quivering body of hers pressed against his in the warm embrace, that gentle caress upon his face, her beautiful eyes and that melodious and sweet voice. He almost blushed. How he loved her! And how he hated himself for that love! He was an Elf-Prince; nonetheless, he would have given it up to be with her, seemingly a gentle Wilder Elf. But she was a dragon. He could never bring himself to love a dragon. How could he? She was not even a mortal, let alone of his race. Yet, he could not bring himself to give her up, the love for her remained, however, he could not accept her love, or acknowledge his own for her.

He tried to shake himself, to deny that anything existed between them, to remove all trace of his deep love for her from his mind. He was unable to do so, and decided upon pacing agitatedly. Ah, if only suicide was not considered blasmephous, his fingers tracing the pommel of his dagger, lovingly.

"Elf-Lord, by the sound of your pacing and the look on your face, it would seem you are an expectant father."

Gilthanas turned around quickly to face that now bitterly smiling face of Silvara again. He inwardly swore; he let her see him like that!

Adopting his mask of impassivity, he declared, "It was nothing. I was wondering if the trail is true. It could be a ruse to lead us to an ambush. Besides, my thoughts are of no concern to you."

He knew by the look on her face that she had seen through his lie, perhaps even to the point where she knew why he was worried. He had also seen that look of pain flash through when he issued his last remark, and her attempt to hide it behind a now cold and emotionless expression.

She propped her head on one elbow while staring at him.

"Yes, the trail is still fresh, and it will not lead us astray. I think it best that now we leave, before dawn catches up with us. Perhaps we can get further today."

The elflord nodded his assent saying,

"All right then, I suppose we can start now."

She nodded and began to pack her few items. Gilthanas felt a sharp pang of regret for that cruel remark he made earlier. He shook his head and began to pack. Perhaps, time would tell what would become of his confused relationship.

So… What did you guys think? Hate it? Love it? Who cares? Review! I would appreciate it much. And Solaes, AKA Cathy, don't even comment on this, unless it's a good comment… I don't care if you think Gilthanas is a wimp, don't flame me or mention it to me at school.


	2. Ambush and Conversations

A/N: Hello guys! First off I changed my penname to Ruroniblaze, just as a quick notification. Thanks to DJ Caligula and to Euphorbic for reviewing. I appreciate it very much. I know I said that I would get this chapter done earlier but I was busy. Sorry for that and to make it up I can proudly say it is much longer at around 1826 words or something. Not too much for some of you guys, but I'm not much of a writer. To all readers of this story, please read and review as that way I still know that there is still interest in this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonlance, Weiss and Hickman and the rest own it.

**Chapter 2: Ambush and Conversations**

The two elves walked side by side, quietly in the woods, each engrossed in their own thoughts.

Silvara turned to study Gilthanas's Face. As usual it was devoid of any expression. She was sure that he knew that he was under scrutiny at the moment, but he remained focused on the path ahead and seemed to still show a lack of emotions. However, she was able to catch a glimpse of some fleeting glint in his eye. But when she looked again, it was gone and replaced by cold and uncaring eyes. _Damn him! Damn his stubbornness! His stupid immutable feelings! Why could he simply not show his feelings? He just would simply deprive himself of his love, _She thought angrily. She loved him dearly but he didn't seem to care. She felt partly at fault, but he had a share of fault as well.

She bent down and picked up an odd rock from the surrounding floor. It was convoluted pressed with many indents and it shimmered in the pale light. She looked at it running it between her fingers. _Well…The elf is strange. He isn't exactly a normal elf, he isn't prone to becoming all giddy with happiness half the time. Hell! This rock probably smiles more than him! How could he constantly be like that? Does he never show his feelings, _she mused. An overwhelming urge to kiss him like she had at the pool was gnawing at her. She strove to master herself and just kept walking. Mulling over this, she made a move to toss the rock but then, but on second thought she pocketed it.

Gilthanas on the other hand was thinking about dark thoughts when he heard a crack of a twig, just up ahead.

Five draconians stepped out of the cover of the trees and all were leering, probably anticipating an easy capture.

Surprise briefly struck him as he realized that they had walking into an ambush. He looked at Silvara quickly to notice the anger on her face.

Both of the elves drew their weapons. Gilthanas had his two swords out and a savage smile almost crossed his face as he faced his first opponent. He would love to destroy these pitiful murderers. These damned villains would die to his blades. He would make sure of that. The leering draconian lunged forward with a viciously curved sword in his grip that threatened to cleave Gilthanas in two. Gilthanas nimbly sidestepped and beheaded the draconian. Dispatching another one with a thrust through its heart he watched in revulsion as it turned to a prefect imitation of his body the only difference being that it was dead.

He kicked it aside and turned to see how Silvara was doing. One was already dead at her feet and the other one was being hammered back as she gracefully swung her sword around him, a display of beautifully refined skill. The he turned to see the fifth draconian, still hiding in the covers at the trees. His blood was instantly chilled as he saw the draconian taking aim at Silvara. Dropping his swords, he lunged and stood in the line of the draconians shot, and he grabbed his bow which was already strung and he notched an arrow, swiftly taking aim.

As he was about to release his own arrow, the draconian fired and the arrow that would have otherwise have been lodged in Silvara hit the shoulder of Gilthanas as he groaned in pain slightly. His shoulder was pushed back and his arrow hit the tree next to the draconians head. The draconian sensing and opportunity notched another arrow to aim again at Gilthanas. Gilthanas dropped his bow quickly and reached behind his back, grasping his dagger that was strapped to the back of his swordbelt, and threw it left-handed. He watched in satisfaction as his dagger buried itself in the draconian's heart.

Silvara had turned around, after having dispatching her foe, when she heard Gilthanas's soft groan of pain. She had seen the arrow protruding out of his shoulder and the blood flowing freely from it and started to move towards him.

Gilthanas just ignored her and went to collect all his fallen weapons of the ground and from his dead foe, though she noticed that he was obviously trying not to move his right arm that much. It looked very painful indeed.

"Thank you for saving my life."

Gilthanas turned slowly around to see Silvara looking up at him with concern in her eyes. He was moved by her concern for him but he remained stubborn. He nodded and continued to clean his weapons.

"You should let me treat that. You're losing too much blood."

He shook his head, "A few minutes is not going to kill me. I'll wait till we get out of here."

Resigning to his stubbornness she sighed and they both pressed forward for a few minutes until they reached a clearing to camp for the night.

Gathering the necessary materials she walked over to him and inspected the wound. Luckily, the arrow wasn't poisoned and hadn't hit any bones. She just had to take it out.

All I have to do is take the arrow out. It will hurt a bit."

He nodded again seemingly without care and watched as she snapped off the head and then pulled out the arrow quickly. He hissed slightly in pain, but other than that, he remained quiet.

"Take your shirt off."

Gilthanas inwardly groaned. _Of all things that could happen to me! Why this,_ thinking angrily. However, he complied and tried to strip off his shirt almost casually, trying to indicate that he didn't care.

She seemed to stiffen momentarily upon looking at him but got out her herbs quickly and started diverting her attention away from the lean and well muscled body of Gilthanas, a muscled body which she noted had 2 scars that formed a perfect cross shape on his muscled chest. Intrigued yet wary, she decided to mentally note it for later. She deftly cleaned and dressed the wound hoping that Gilthanas wouldn't notice her shaking hands.

However, Gilthanas had noticed her hands. And he also noticed that he was shaking a bit too with feel of her cool hands on his skin. _Damn! Stay in control, stay in control, stay in control... _he chanted mentally.

"It's done now."

Gilthanas pulled on his tunic over his now bandaged shoulder and started walking away. Silvara watched him with longing in her eyes as she ached to follow him, but she restrained herself.

Gilthanas kept walking till he found a rock, which he assumed was far away that she could not see him, to sit on while collecting his thoughts. He whispered to himself brokenly, "I am pathetic. I love her dearly, a love that I am not supposed to have for her. I know that much and I can't help but be an arrogant fool. To hell with love! All it has done is that it brought me pain and even more pain for Silvara! Damn it! What should I do? I could have lost her today to the draconians. I'm incapable of protecting those around me. How could I deserve love in that case? How can she arouse so many passions in me? With but a mere touch of her fingers as well! I don't need love! It's just a useless emotion!"

"Is that so Elf-Lord?"

Gilthanas whirled around in surprise whispering, "Silvara?"

The silver-haired elf-maiden walked slowly up to him from the darkness.

"Yes, Gilthanas."

"Leave me be!" he yelled in an anguished voice. He had caught the look in her eyes. It was a look pain, of hurt, and he was sure that it mirrored his own look. He hurried to master his expression and turned away, about to walk, when she suddenly reached out and caught his arm, forcing him too look at her again.

"I refuse to, Gil! Just for once please talk to me! Why must we ignore each other? Is there nothing between us? Swear that what happened between us is over for good and I shall not bother you again!"

He replied coldly, "I don't have to say anything."

By this point, her eyes were starting to become teary and she looked at Gilthanas with so much anguish that he couldn't bear but to look away.

"Is that true Gilthanas? Can you not reply to me this once?"

He turned around angrily, "Why should I? You lied to me! You betrayed me! Is that not sufficient reason alone for me to ignore you? What further reason do you require from me?"

His anger aroused, he started thinking, "Stay calm…"

Unfortunately, even he couldn't deal with this situation like that.

Looking deeply into her eyes he said softly, "Hell! Do you want to know why I am ignoring you? I still love you! No matter what I do, I cannot ever accept anyone else. I still love you, whether you are a dragon or an elf. I can't bring myself to deny that and yet, I can't deal with it. At first, it seemed like you betrayed me, but I can hardly blame you for it. I know you loved me deeply but I scorned you."

With a humorless chuckle he whispered, "It doesn't matter now. Love is an emotion, among many, that I should never have felt. I am undeserving of it. I am an incapable arrogant fool! Anyways, why does it still matter? You probably would never love me back anymore. I've been so cruel and uncaring towards you. I've caused you more pain than you have caused me. Nothing matters now. My duty is to help you on this quest and then leave it at that. What happens afterwards is of no concern to me anymore."

He wrenched himself from her grasp and started to walk out when he felt a pair of arms suddenly grab him around his waist and hug him tightly.

"Gilthanas, I understand that you felt betrayed. I understand that you are angry, but by Paladine, I still love you and I forgive you. I can do nothing less. But please Gil, please don't walk away from me."

And surprisingly, she felt him turn around. He gazed at her with pain in her eyes and yet she saw the love in his eyes as well.

Placing an arm around his neck, she pulled him down and kissed him gently, and was happy to feel him kiss back with just as much passion and longing.

As they broke their kiss, he whispered into her ear as he stroked her silver hair, "I love you quisalas, and I will never walk away from you again. Never..."

With that he pulled her into another kiss, one that took both their breaths away and conveyed to each other the depth of each others longing, as the silver moon shone upon them in the clearing.

Elven words:

Quisalas- I think it means beloved. And so does shalori I think. Silvara called Gilthanas shalori once and Tanis called Laurana quisalas I believe. I'm not sure of the difference between them; if someone can notify me I would like it. For now I'm assuming, quisalas is female and shalori is male.

Additionally, this is a slightly revised version. Much thanks to DJ Caligula for the suggestions that helped me to fix it up a bit more!

That chapter took forever, I really can't write romance as well and even though I liked the action scene I'm not sure how I could better convey my thoughts onto paper. Don't worry, I plan on adding a few more chapters… I think. Please leave me a review on how you think it was suggestions, etc. Thanks, Ruroniblaze.


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